The law of attraction says to “give away what you want to receive” because the universe is a never-ending source of abundance. The bible says, “Do unto others, as you would have done unto you”. My interpretation of the messages has been…if you want happiness, joy and kindness in your life, give it to others and trust that it will come back to you.
Wayne Dyer said “You can’t give away what you don’t have”. He used the analogy of an orange. If you squeeze and orange, orange juice comes out. That is all that can come out of course, because it is what is inside of an orange. And so, if you squeeze a person, what will come out is what is inside. For some people that is anger, hate, jealously.
So, if I am receiving anger, hate and jealousy from my relationships, it must be what I am putting out there. For example at work, I used to be incredibly stressed out about relationships with difficult co-workers. I would google “how to deal with a difficult co-worker” and find myself frustrated because the articles would always suggest ‘the difficult person is you’. The ‘difficult’ person is triggering something in you that needs to be addressed. If they are surviving and thriving in the workplace and you are not – it’s you, not them that is the problem.
Friendships are also confusing. As a kid I would watch my parents host friends for food, drinks, great conversation and laughs over a dinner table. I thought that was how friendships were cultivated. This approach has not brought me genuine, reciprocal, meaningful relationships. You can’t put out shallow and expect deep in return.
What I’m learning is the The law of Attraction requires honesty and clarity for success. You need to ask yourself what you TRULY want from your relationships, and then you must cultivate those qualities inside of yourself. “You can’t give away what you don’t have” so you must build it within first.
I have spent a lot of time feeling upset about what I don’t have at the expense of recognizing what I do have. For example, I felt I didn’t have a respectful workplace and was devastated by other people’s behaviours. I did not have resilience for the workplace. What I did have, was skill and resourcefulness and the capacity to do good work. This can be cultivated and turned into something meaningful.
I would also be hurt when friends would exclude me or not reciprocate gestures. I spent time worrying about what I was missing out on, and not appreciating what was receiving elsewhere. People have been reaching out to me in kind and genuine ways. I didn’t recognize their gestures because I was too busy being disappointed in others.
My spouse, thank goodness for his resilience, humorously reminds me that “Marriage is a process of lowering your expectations”. In other words, let go of the nit-picking about what he doesn’t do ‘right’ and enjoy his many positive qualities. He is a very generous, humorous and compassionate person.
So, If you think you are putting out kindness, generosity and connection… and you are getting back solitude, maybe a new perspective is in order. Perhaps you are not putting out what you think you are… or maybe solitude IS the message. The universe is telling you to be kind, generous and connected with yourself first.
Namaste – I see the goodness in you and you see the goodness in me, because we are all connected. We are all the same.