Yesterday I was instructed to “put a cork in it” about quitting. “Nobody likes a quitter – there is nothing more annoying than a quitter”.
I totally disagree. I plan to talk about quitting right here and right now – to all 7 of my blog followers and hopefully the rest of the world someday. Picture me on a roof top yelling this:
It’s OK to quit! There are other ways to live your life – better ways! Thank you to all of the quitters out there who wrote books and told their stories about making big changes – you inspired me.
In the past year I quit a number of things. I’m a big quitter…
I quit drinking. I quit anti-depressants. I quit my job. I quit counseling. I quit organizing community events. I quit spending money on things we don’t need. I quit participating in unhealthy patterns with family and friends. I quit the act.
All of the quitting was the first step in my overall effort to Clean House. You must clean up the mess and get rid of all the clutter and junk before you can organize your home in an appealing way – just as you must remove all the crap from your mind and body to make room for new and improved, healthy life.
Alcohol, just like cigarettes, causes cancer. It’s proven. It’s a fact. Also, the drug itself when taken causes an immediate relaxing effect on the mind and body followed by an anxious and stressed effect over a more extended period of time. This leads to a craving for more of the drug to relieve that stressed state caused by the drug. Alcohol is an addictive drug that has no real benefits and some very real threats. If you drink and find this paragraph annoying, go ahead and stop reading. This bit is for people like me who appreciated the information and used it to help myself.
Anti-depressants are helpful to some people in some situations. They take the edge off of emotions, which can help people who are suffering to live a better life. They also come with side effects. In my case, the side effects were worse than the benefits.
Counseling can be extremely beneficial for any human looking to examine their life and make improvements. Finding the right counselor is important though. Quitting one counselor led me to finding a much better match with another counselor.
Karma – means ‘work‘. It is a privilege and opportunity. We live in a country full of work and opportunity to create work. Bad work leads to bad future. Good work leads to good future.
Karma (Sanskrit: कर्म, translit. karma; IPA: [ˈkərmə] ( listen); Pali: kamma; Hindi: कर्म, translit. karm) means action, work or deed; it also refers to the spiritual principle of cause and effect where intent and actions of an individual (cause) influence the future of that individual (effect). Good intent and good deed contribute to good karma and future happiness, while bad intent and bad deed contribute to bad karma and future suffering. Karma is closely associated with the idea of rebirth in many schools of Asian religions. In these schools, karma in the present affects one’s future in the current life, as well as the nature and quality of future lives – one’s saṃsāra.
I spent a decade organizing special events in the community, helping to raise money for charities and creating fun for family and friends. It became too much of a good thing. It exhausted me and took away from my own family and my health. There are other ways to help people – without burning myself out. I look to this yoga principal – Brahmacharya Yama which is about the ‘right use of energy’ understanding your power and using it wisely.
Boundaries. Thank you Brene Brown for so eloquently discussing boundaries.Brene Brown on Boundaries Breaking patterns with family and friends and setting boundaries has been difficult, but absolutely freeing. You have to grow up and decide what is ok and not ok in your life and create that environment for yourself. You are not yourself if you are playing out a childhood role, or friend role, that no longer serves you. This was one of the most difficult but the MOST necessary of steps for cleaning house and freeing up space for good health and happiness.
Taking control of expenses was part of this process. It is actually fun and exciting to make decisions about money. Surprisingly it involves creativity – and can provide a sense of pride and accomplishment. Most adults are familiar with this feeling, but it is new to me as I have always avoided the difficult stuff when it comes to finances.
Giving up the act feels risky at first. People can be critical and not supportive. There is an initial feeling of panic and loneliness… but then there is a feeling overwhelming excitement. Nobody else fixed my life for me, nor would I want them to. I cleaned up the mess and I deserve the greatness that comes next. There is a blank canvas in front of me. I create my life. I write my story. The future is full of opportunity.
I will talk about this. I will continue to talk about this with anyone who wants to listen. Thank you to the person (people) who put the giant billboard on the highway that gave me my first big “sign” to make a change. It said “One drink a day can cause cancer”. It took me five years to quit after that but the sign was a catalyst.
Maybe reading this blog will have an effect on someone else looking for inspiration.